I've been overdosing this song for the last two days, sence Cheggs (yet another xbox live friend) sent it to me. The lyric is just.. Woah! It makes me a bit sentimental though.. And a the moment I just feel very very very lonely.. I always seem to feel very lonely as soon as I'm not talking to anyone. I finnished the letter in less then half an hour and I'm quite happy with the result. Hopefully my swedish teacher will think the same, haha.

Darling's on xbox live but not msn, again.. Oh gosh, I just think way too much. I have to stop thinking. But the thing is that he never did that before. He was always on msn to talk to me and lately he havn't. But gosh, Selene, stop it! It've been half term and all, things are going back to normal tomorrow and we'll see then if he does as well. If not.. well then it's time to start wondering. But not already. I guess. Oh gosh I'm just typing everything that shows up in my head. Which is sometimes just crap and sometimes just too many wonders. I don't seem to be sure about anything at the moment.. And once I am sure about something I seem to change that opinion. To later go back to being sure. To then possibly again change my mind. and then.. yeah, you get it. I'm very good, too good at doing that. Making my mind up about what to do and not do, what to think etc. to later on chane my mind and.. yeah..

I should go to bed now. Just gonna read a little first I think. Nighty night people. And omg I've made 6 posts in about a day and two hours. LMAO. I'm a bit depressing sometimes. Howeveeer.. School tomorrow, no more loneliness, working my ass off and.. Yeah..

Today has been more or less all about playing Fable 2 with Orkra (friend over xbox live, real name Daniel but I never call him that really) and being casually amused. I finnished the main quest today, I got a second lesbian wife and Orkra killed the other one.. o_O So yeah, today's been.. not very serious. Haha. I was soposed to be reading like all day but I havnt read more then a chapter in my book, and I now have to write that letter-thingy thinking of that it has to be handed in tomorrow. So I'm gonna start writing that as soon as I stop writing this. It shouldn't take too long.. Most thing I write seem to get better grades when I don't put too much work in them, weirdy enough. When I just ramble on about something and don't actually think about the connection in whatI write and such, cuz it seems like I get that automatically.. Uhm.. However.

I barely talked at all to Darling today eiter.. He returned from his dad. But I was playing Fable 2 with Orkra and he was playing Halo 3 and didn't seem to wanna play Fable 2 so we ended up not talking at all through the xbox. He sent me a chat invite though and, once again sounding very depressed, said he had to go cuz he had to do some homeworks.. I have a feeling something's wrong, but I don't know what and when I asked him he said it was nothing. But the thing is, the last week he's, as I've said (I think?) barely been talking to me. And the last two days, all he's said to me are these short messages where he sounds really depressed and says he have to go.. I've been more or less waiting for him to send me chat invites or such, showing signs of that he wants to talk to me, cuz I lately sometimes get the feeling that he's trying to avoid me.. But today when he send yet another of these messages I started to wonder if he might be doing the same? Maybe he's just waiting for me to talk to him as well.. I guess tomorrow I should try to start talking to him and hope that's what he wants. The thing is, as I said, that I've had the feeling he don't wanna talk to me. But maybe it's the opposite way around? Maybe.. Oh well, I don't have time for this really. I might type some more after I finnished the letter and before I go to bed. Can't stay up too late tonight though, have to be up at 6. From here, it takes me about 2 hours from when I get ut from the house to when I reach school. Luckilly, I share an apartment with my brother a 20 minues walk from school so it's only on monday mornings and friday afternoons it takes that long to get to school/home. Lol, there we go again, I always seem to find something to ramble about. Wellwell, I'll probably write more later. Bleep-Bloop on y'all.

Just something I randomly started thinking about... I know these two persons, Anna and Christopher, they were going out about.. Half a year, I think. Until Christopher broke up with Anna cuz he had been, idunno if you'd call that two-timing, but well been with another girl. And Anna was all pissed at him, did her best to avoid him and blabla. But then, about 1½ week ago, I saw them together at school, talking and laughing and huging just like before and went all "wtf?". And now, if I didnt get it all compltely wrong, they're going out again.
So, from what I think, Christophe changed his mind or whatever and went back to Anna. Who, apparently, after from what I understood more or less hated him, just simply took him back.
Is that really how us humans work? If we believe we love someone, do we really forgive them that easilly? I've never been in that situation myself so I can't tell really, but it sounds so.. Wrong, somehow. If you actually love someone I can see that you take this person back. But what the hell did (in this case) Christopher think with, doing what he did in the first place? The only logical explonation I can find is that he don't actually feel as strong for Anna as she does for him. Which will, no doubt about it, lead to that she will get hurt again.
Ah well.. The world is a weird place I must say. And even though most people say you should follow your heart, adding some logical sence sometimes do help. Well, well. I have to keep readin my book now and later today write that letter thingy to the author. Yay me..

So, it's 1AM here now.. (Yeah, sweden's one hour ahead of gbr) and I'm off to bed.. Or well, at least I've been thinking about going to bed for an hour now lol. Geez, I miss Darling so so so so so so much... He sent me a voice message over xbox live saying he had to go back to his dads, and that message was the last thing I heard of him. The thing was that he sounded real depressed.. I don't think he wanted to go back to his dads really. But well.. I miss him, and I know he's somewhere he prefer not to be. Which just makes me miss him even more.. Ah well. Last day of half term tomorrow, or today.. Or you get what I mean. And then back to school. And soon, soon I will get a proper answer from my mom if I can go to darling over christmas or not. She don't like the thought of me being away over christmas cuz she like wants all family gathered and stuff but yeah.. I don't think she's gonna say no. I'm actually quite sure she's gonna say yes. Ah well, however. Nighty night people. I'm gonna read some and then try to fall asleep without too much thinking. I havn't slept properly for 4 nights in a row now so im getting real tired.. Well well. Nighty night, again.