That last post of mine.. please try to ignore the fact that it's horribly bad written. That computer was just awful to write on and I couldn't be bothered to go back and correct everything.

However.. I'm back in Ätran (I never actually said that name before, but it's the name of the vilage thingy our house is in. Aka where I actually live.) over the weekend as usual. I'm going back to the flat on sunday afternoon though and I'm going to see Victor when I get there. And then, hopefully.. I'll stay at the flat all next weekend and get loads of private time with Victor. We never actually get time alone cuz we're always at my place, and I pretty much share one room with my brother.. and my brother never goes out. if people say I'm out too little, my brother is ten times worse. Which is equal no privacy.

I realized today that I'm feeling something I havn't felt in a loooong time. It's 2 years sence I had a relationship with someone that actually live near me, who's in the same shool, who I can easilly see every day.. (you get what I mean) And now.. I really don't understand how I was able to survive never seing the person i was going out with.
With Zeth, the person who I was going out with two years ago, I moved to another town (to where I live now) in the middle of everything and I only saw him about every second weekend. But I got used to that. I saw John once, and if it wouldn't have ended it would've taken 3 months till I would see him again.. The same with Andy.. How the hell did I actually survive that?
Now..saying goodbye to Victor and knowing I'll see him the next day still makes me feel.. not bad, but.. you know. I don't want him to leave. I don't want to be away from him for even like half a second.
I remember once.. Thinking of something when I was going out with Zeth. That before I moved, out biggest problem was that we had to say bye for the day. When I moved, it turned into having to say bye and not seeing each others till next week.
I can remember how I hated leaving him all the time before I moved, but that I got used to not seeing him all the time quite quckly. Saying bye even seemed easier when we didn't see each others every day anymore. Isn't that quite weird? How it's harder to say bye when you meet every day then when you don't.

Uuuhm.. yeah.. Today's been great. I think. Or well good, however. I was at school as usual, being with Victor, blabla.. had a test of Microsoft Word that was horribly easy (either that, or I did everything wrong. it took me about 20, maybe 25 minutes to finnish it.. And I doubt that it took less then 40 minutes for anyone else.) so.. I ended school 40 minutes easlier then usual, discovered that Victor was still at school so I spend some time with him and John and watching him getting a backslick to surprise his girlfriend who was coming over the weekend.. That hair on him was quite cute I must say ;P

I just had my dinner and I'm so.. damn.. full right now. Blargh. Startgate: Atlantis in 1½ hour. Might play some Halo 3 in a while.. And now I think I'll look at that ebay auction I found with a perfect christmas gift for a friend of mine.
Shibby.

Written at about 17:10 yesterday

Omg I havn't written anything in several days now! Not even at home, like I'm doing now... I must beinasne or something (or in love)
Well.. This monday it happened and I'm going out with Victor now.
Monday is like some kind of fuzzyness in my memory. It all just felt really.. unreal. And I remembehow I was all like "I'm gonna wake up any second, ain't I?".
Victor came over to my place after school. We played some Halo 3 and watched Monty Python and during all afternoon/night we kept getting closer, more intimate, and we ended up kissing. And that's kind of all I actually remember from that day.. As I said.. fuzzynes.
Apparently Victor had written in his bog on sunday that he had made up his mind and wantto be with me but I didn't read that till... tuesday morning I think. I udnerstood it anyawys though, without him either actually etlling me or me readign what he'd written.

Then last tuesday.. That day was just horrible. I waled around all day feeling like something seriously bad was about to happen. And so it did.
For the first time ever I'm actually not gonna say everyting here. There's these parts of my life who arn't made to be known to everyone.
However. On tuesday night at about..around eight I think I had a text from an old friend. A person I havn't talked to in a long time and who stoped talking to me, literally. He brought up this.. thing. A thing that took me nearly six months to get over. And well, part of those six months was about the worst time I've ever experienced. I never answered this text. or well, not till the next day cuz I was too upset.

Then on wednesday I answered his text, answered this one question and more or less yelled at him for contacting me after such a long time. he kept texting me, seemed to wanna try getting in contact with me again.. But I just rejected him.
Victor came with me home on wednesday as well and... I dunno what we did really? Mostly just laying in my bed, being close to each others, kissng..

Then today has been... Mostly good. I've been with Victor all day, obviously.
The only bad thing... This guy kept texting me. So i got fed up with him, rang him and yelled at him once again. It was a short but intense call and I was reallyupset.
Then Victor came with me home after school for a couple of hours today as well. We ended school already at 12:30 and he left about an hour ago. I miss him already... Being without him all weekend is gonna be horrible. And like.. I thought I was in love before we actually started going out.. Well if that waslove, I don't know what the hell this is. It's something I havn't felt before and I can't really find the words for it. Ever time I look at him t's like... Omg what made me this lucky? And why am i even trying to explain? I can't, not even to myself. It's some kind of ultimate feeling. Ultimate happiness. Every time he touch me or I touch him it's like some kind of shiver, can't get enough, don't ever want to let go. And when he ad to go.. I think it took about 20-30 minutes from whe he shoulv'de left till he actually did.

And now.. I'm sitting here I'm cold, missing him, and one of my pilows smell a bit like him. can't wait till tomorrow when I see him again.

(This took aaaages to write cuz this computeris so damn slow.. And i bet I did loads of misspellings and stuff, this keyboard is real awkward. Ah well. I'm off to get some candy now, which is going to be my lunch.. lol.)

Good news; I'm not dead! Haha. Not that I should be.. but still. I'v got a leson in 10 minutes, but after that I'l *hopefully* find a computer to loot and theeen.. I'll write properly. Byeye fornow.