I seem to be having alot of semi-deep thoughts lately. Random things that I randomly start discussing with myself.
But apart from that... What's been going on lately? Well the main thing that's happening is.. uhm.. ok I dunno what the main thing is. But school is nearly over for the term (omg) and... I still really don't feel like it's about to be christmas. It's just like last year. Last year's christmas was horrible. Not even when christmas was actually there I felt like it was... but about october-january last year was as well among the worst parts of my life but still. I'm afraid I won't get into the christmas spirit this year either, which i really don't like.. Because the whole spirit, the "feeling" of christmas is the whole thing about it.
And more... I've been feeling awful lately. I try to ignore it, I try not to show too much... But I've just been feeling (physically) awful. I sleep more then I usually do but I'm still... not tired, but like... slow, if you get what I mean. I get these attacks of dizzyness, I sometimes randomly starts hearing really bad, I've got a more or less constant headache and sometimes mystomach aches as well. And I get tired way easilly... If I run for like 10 seconds that kills me. And I have no idea what the hell it is. And it's starting to seriously worry me. Why the hell is this happening? And I don't actually want to tell anyone because I don't want anyone else to worry just because I am. But it's nothing, I'm sure. Or at least I try to tell myself it's nothing. I'm so scared it actually is something though... I don't want anything to happen. Not now...

Ah well. I've only got 10 minutes left of my time here. I think I'm gonna leave now and go read a bit and then go home and.. wait for tomorrow. Perhaps I'll take a walk later as well, idunno.
Byebye for now.

What is it that decides that someone is perfect? I mean, don't we all have our image of the perfect person, the perfect friend or partner. But when it actually comes down to reality... Is the persons you actually think of as perfect suiting for you image of perfection?
I can easily say that I find Victor perfect. Even though he might not always do exactly what I wish he would do, even though I can't always be with him, even though he seem to be able to hurt me. It doesn't matter, I still love him exactly the way he is and I can't think of him being different in any way. He's perfect to me even though he's not perfect. Do you get what I mean?
I remember being told that I'm perfect once. This guy once told me that I was perfect for him. And I remember that my reaction just simply was that wtf.. I don't want to be perfect. And I defeneatly don't want him to think I'm perfect, cuz I'm not. I'm far from perfect. I've done so many things wrong in my life, screwed things up and.. Such things. I'm not a perfect person and I never will be. And I kinda just took it as an insult when he waid this to me. But back then I didn't realize what he actually meant, because I havn't felt that, not untill now.
So, what does actually decide if one is perfect? I don't think you can be perfect. You can't look perfect and you can't have a perfect personality or a perfect life. Why? Because we all prefer different things. We all have our different opinions. Maybe I prefer a guy with long black hair and... blue eyes who's a great writer or something but a friend of mine prefers a blonde guy with green eyes who's great at football. As I said, different opinions. So, I don't think one can be perfect... Until you feel that way I just explained. You can be perfect to someone, but you cannot be perfect. And I found my perfect, I found my image of perfection, and I would never ever want to be without him.