I had such a horrible dream last night. And. I don't even know if I should be writing about it? If should even be thinking about it? But I am, sometimes. Not as much as I expected to though. But well.. I dreamt that I met Zeth and Maria. Old friends, rememer? I met Zeth at fist and in this dream he didn't seem to be that bothered about seeing me. We talked and stuff, it as a bit tense but nothing too bad. Then Maria came and she was like "get out of her..", just wanted to leav and stuff and.. Idunno, it was fuzzy, it was a dream and I've forgotten most of it. But I remember she wanted them to leave and just dragged Zeth away. Zeth looking back at me with eyes saying "sorry..." I was screaming, telling them to stop. Crying. Being horribly frustrated, angry, sad, everything at once.. Then I graduately started to wake up, realizing I was actually crying.
I woke up, managed to stop the crying, tried to calm down, gather myself and.. Then the next thing I remember is dreaming again, this time it was some kind of Saw-dream, and I was in it. And then I was just waking up and falling asleep, waking up and falling asleep.. All morning, from like 8 to 12, constantly having different horrible dreams, constantly being on the edge of panicking.
I... idunno.. It's been nearly 2 years. How long does it take to actually forget? Do you ever actually forget?
To be honest, I'm a bit scared. Not because of the dream, not becauseof this, but just.. everything. Everything scares me. Nothing seems certain, nothing seems completely safe and wherever I go there seem to be an ulterior motive. I'm just.. insecure?
I honestly think I'm having PMS. I need chocolate.
