I think I'm getting a cold or something.. I keep sneezing and shit. That's kinda typical huh? Getting ill when the holidays start. Although I seldom get seriously ill so I'm not that worried, but anyways.
So, yesterday was horrible. I think I was up till about 2:30, fell asleep about an hour later and I was feeling like shit from about 1 till I fell asleep (the reason I know that i because everyone left the xbox at 1 lol) And.. oh Idunno. I don't think I'll ever properly figure out wtf is going on, but whatever it is it's making me feel like hell. I start to think about every singe bad thing, every single potential bad thing, feels horribly bad and nearly starts to cry... I think I've lost the ability to cry? At least at those kind of moments. Maybe that's just because I don't properly know why I feel like that.. Or well, I know the reason for it. And it's obviously because I'm away from Victor, but not being with him isn't one of the main things I feel bad about.
Blargh.
Oh and I actually talked a little to Andy yesterday.. Very little, but still. For a few minutes there he was acting as usual to me. But at the beginning of that conversation..
He had joined my party on xbox live earlier and seemed sooooo damn depressed I was getting seriously worried. So when I signed in on msn having the PM "I'm sorry I'm quiet, life is well confusing at the moment" and earlier that day it was "Life is well good" so I asked him if anything's wrong and blabla. He said yes, something's wrong. So i asked if he wanted to talk about it, and his answer was "no I'm already talking to Zoe about it."
I nearly fell apart there. Or no, but it hurt a bit. Zoe's one of his new friends, and also a friend of his girlfriend. And I was like.. Idunno how to explain it? But I think you can understand at least a little what I'm trying to say. it hurt, and it made me realize how we're not even snearly as close as before.
Nevermind that. Xbox live is down today so I'm probably gonna die of boredome or something. Or I might do some Call of Duty: World at war campaign. Or watch TV? Or whatever. I'm not sure. I'm gonna do some excercising, but I'll do that as soon as I finnish writing this. I've decided to do that like no later then 2 hours after I wake up, so I won't risk that I end up not doing it.
I should do that now, cuz I so don't feel like it.
Xbox live's down, Victor's not here, Adam won't be on the next 5 hours. I'm gonna die (lol).
